Every once in a while I see something in the search terms on the blog that seem worthy of a post. It's usually something I've overlooked, but also something that people want to know about within the Orlando area. Today's search phrase was "Nudie Bar."
It's pretty obvious why I haven't written about nudie bars around Orlando. They suck. Trust me, it's not worth visiting any of them. That wasn't the case from the mid-90's and earlier, but they've all pretty much been reigned in by the Bible Zealots who want Orlando to be a "family friendly" location.
Never mind that Disney World sells more liquor than anyone else in the area. Never mind that the nudie bars are NOWHERE NEAR any of the tourist attractions. Never mind that we have a convention business full of (mostly) men who could be dropping some serious change on Russian strippers at the Doll House. All of that is moot.
First, there is no "nudie" in our nudie bars. It's all pasties, bikini bottoms, and six-foot clearance from the dancer. Who the hell wants to waste their time with crap like that? It's an insult that a town like Orlando doesn't have a thriving adult entertainment industry for men to relieve their stress. No wonder we keep breaking murder records year after year. You take away the strippers, hookers and any other titillating business opportunities for people to relax, they're bound to turn to drugs. Per the Orange County Sheriff, most of the murders around here are related to drug lifestyle.
We had one shooting at a nudie bar last week. It was over an argument that started inside and spilled out into the parking lot when things got out of control. Why were people arguing? I think it's because they couldn't get a hot Russian stripper to grind a lap dance on them. Who the hell wants to talk to anyone else, much less argue, when you've got a naked girl springing your wood?
Orlando needs to rescind these stupid "morality" laws and let the strippers come back to work in Orlando. Until then, don't waste your time on nudie bars in Orlando.
