Back in the mid-80's, we started something called "Light Up Orlando." The unofficial beginning of the festival started with the Kumquat Queen Sashay down Orange Avenue, leading to City Hall (conveniently located next door to Orlando Utilities Commission). The mayor would give a speech about how great and fun it was to live in Orlando, and then he'd hit an oversized electric switch (branded with the OUC logo) to kick off the party.
From there, all the lights in town came on, there was beer and live music in the streets, and a lot of litter in the morning (leading some of us to rename the event Blight Up Orlando). It was actually nice to have an adult party in the middle of town. Like most good things, it grew to the point of getting fucked up and commercialized. Soon, everyone was trying to use the event to market something to the people who just wanted to have a good time. We got a few headline bands, but I think the local bands were a better draw for a home-town event.
Now it's quite the opposite. Instead of lighting up and partying, we dim down for an hour and let them meander meaninglessly around town for Earth Hour.
What the fuck is Earth Hour? You're supposed to turn off your lights and live in Medieval Darkness for an hour. Why? Ostensibly, to take action on Global Warming. That's what they say. Personally, I think it's a test to see how many mindless morons exist in the world to do what they're told and feel good about themselves.
Way to go, Orlando! You're turning into a bunch of sycophants.
Don't be a mindless moron. Revolt against Earth Hour. Don't patronize any business that observes Earth Hour. Go out and do your own Kumquat Sashay, have a few drinks, turn on all the lights, and say FUCK YOU to the politically correct sumbitches who want to tell you what meaningless bullshit you have to do.
When someone comes along and complains that you aren't observing Earth Hour, point, laugh, and ridicule the mindless drones. Have another drink. The Earth will still be here in another hour. Maybe even longer.
Just clean up your mess when you're done. We don't need to blight up Orlando.
