Recently in Transportation Category

I was supposed to head over to Daytona for Biketoberfest on Friday night with a friend, but he had to cancel. As much as I would've preferred to spend time with my friend, I was actually a bit relieved. I ended up coming home from a business trip at about 2:00 am on Friday and was still moving slowly that day.

As a result, I caught some great weather by going on Saturday afternoon. It seemed like a perfect day for a ride going the back way on 415. After turning off 46 onto 415, I had the luck of the draw to wind up behind a semi hauling a load slowly down the road. At first, I figured it wasn't so bad. I had no particular time to be there and a lazy ride up a back road could be a nice way to unwind.

Then it started getting to me. It was't the semi that was the problem; he actually got his ass in gear and kept up with the speed limit. It was the dipshits between us that didn't seem to know how to drive. They were looking at everything but the road, slowing down to look at grass, cows, and who knows what. Thus began my leapfrog approach to navigating 415 and a reminder of my love/hate relationship with biker events.

Some of the drivers were in cars and trucks, and some were on motorcycles. It doesn't matter to me. Stupid drivers who can't keep consistent speed, cause others to miss traffic lights because they aren't paying attention or having a conversation, or just suddenly stop hard annoy the fuck out of me. One after the other, I experienced all of these at least once, and some of them multiple times.

Since I was on my own this trip, I decided to make it pretty simple and keep to my traditional stops: Hooters for lunch (for the vitamins), grab some t-shirts at Boot Hill & Iron Horse, and a DQ Oreo Blizzard for dinner (for the vitamins). Given the traffic in town, I spent several hours doing what should only take one or two.

I ended up sitting at a table right under an air conditioning vent at Hooters. It was nice & cool outside, so I'm not sure why they cranked up the A/C so much. Yes, you need to run it because of all the bodies inside, but it was pretty fucking cold there. However, it was actually worth it. While my local Sanford Hooters can't cook decent wings, the Daytona store is consistently pretty good. I enjoyed my calorie overload.

On a sexist note, I have to say the quality of the waitresses at Hooters is declining. Let's face it, guys go there to look at cute young women in tight uniforms. Hooters used to bring its absolute A-list team to Daytona for biker events. I'm not seeing it anymore. Maybe they just can't enlist the same girls in the catalogs to actually slop wings around to tables. My server (Whitney) was pretty nice and she was cute, but I wouldn't say I had the best service I've ever experienced. I generally had to yell out her name when I wanted something.

Leaving Hooters to head toward Main Street was a pain in the ass for most people. Traffic was backed up on International Speedway. That's because most bikers in town only know about four or five roads in Daytona and never look at a map. Rather than slogging for the next hour or so in traffic, I took a left on Bill France over to Mason and was at Beach Street within a few minutes. That's when I remembered to be thankful for idiots. Let them line up in traffic and leave the other streets open for me to use.

Of course, there's not much you can do about Main Street. I considered just going over the Mason Bridge and then sliding over to Main Street, but it's Biketoberfest. You have to ride over the drawbridge. It seemed good at the time, until I got in the line of traffic going over the bridge. Then I realized I was no better than any of the other fucking idiots doing the same thing. Pedestrians walking over the bridge were leaving me in the dust.

The two bikes in front of me were evidence that anyone can ride a motorcycle, but that doesn't mean they can ride it very well. The guy would start to move and then suddenly stop hard, even though there was room in front of him. As usual, I started cussing to myself wondering what this dumb son of a bitch was doing. After a few times, I finally had to ask him, "Why the fuck are you stopping like that?"

He complained that his hand hurt from holding the clutch. Moron. I suggested to him that he could shift into neutral and just coast a bit rather than slamming on the brakes. That way he'd get some relief for his hand and I wouldn't have a surprise sudden stop. The look on his face was like he just discovered ice cream. Moron.

A lot of the traffic going over the bridge was distracted by a topless woman holding a protest. First, I didn't get a picture of her because I was on my bike in stop & go traffic. Second, I didn't get a picture of her because she was just an old, fat, ugly bitch with a nasty tattoo on her left titty. The women you see walking around topless at biker events are not the women you want to see walking around topless.

Once I got across the bridge, I discovered something elusive that I've never been able to find after several years of attending Daytona biker events - an open parking space on the sidewalk. Fuck these assholes who want $5 parking. For the first time in my life, I'm getting free parking!

Nothing is free. The price of parking on the sidewalk was to turn left in front of a seemingly endless stream of traffic and back-in, over the curb, to get on the sidewalk next to the other bikes. I managed my U-turn and got to the side, waited for an opening in the traffic, and then some helpful soul decided to allow traffic from another parking lot to come right at me as I started backing into my open spot. I think it took ten minutes just to park there. I passed the time with more cussing. Still, I finally nailed a free spot.

I made my way up to Boot Hill & Main Street Station. Bonnie is still serving beers out front, she still has great thighs, but she was wearing a mask to cover up what is increasingly an aging face. Once inside of Boot Hill, it was the usual cluster-fuck. I tend to like long-sleeve, extra-large shirts. Guess what? So does every other fat fuck at Biketoberfest and they got there while I was still up in D.C. on Thursday. Of the choices I liked, none were available. I still bought one that didn't have any freaking skulls or skeletons on it and headed back to my bike. I saw no purpose in fighting my way through crowded sidewalks on Main Street. I'll save that for Bike Week in the Spring.

Leaving Main Street behind, I rode along the river to SR-40 and then slipped over to U.S. 1. It wasn't too bad until it was suddenly jammed with traffic, but that's expected in this area. I pulled over to a parking lot run by Boy Scouts who were raising funds. If I have to pay $5 for parking, I'd rather give it to some Scouts than anyone else. I used to be a Scout (Eagle, so you know I'm good), so I can appreciate the fact that they only get the money they raise and they work for it.

Iron Horse is essentially a big dirt pit filled with old white people standing around drinking beer and listening to shitty music. I do mean shitty, too. There was some heavy-metal thrash band playing that most of these fuckers would detest if they weren't already on their 23rd beer. Of course, there is a reason why I like hanging out with these people. The first is that I genuinely love the sound of motorcycles. Not just Harley's, mind you, but all motorcycles. I've ridden damn near every kind of bike and enjoyed them all. The other reason is because there are a lot of folks that look like this guy:

With folks this fat around, I look pretty damn good.

Once again, I went on the hunt for t-shirts. Once again, the first one I found was sold-out in the size I wanted. Some guy behind me said it's because women like to wear them as sleepwear. I said I thought it was just because most bikers were fat. The conversation seemed to come to a natural conclusion after my revelation. I ended up asking a woman working there for some help, and she proceeded to show me all the "really nice" shirts with flames, skulls, and all the usual crap that I don't want to see on my clothing. I thanked her for her time and tossed those shirts back into the bin for someone else to fold because I was juggling too many shirts that she'd handed me before she left. Fortunately, I found a few that I liked and left.

Since U.S. 1 is one of the few roads that bikers know, I decided to avoid it and took off over to Nova. It had the advantage of eliminating traffic and passing a Dairy Queen for my beloved Oreo Blizzard. Between all the calories from that and the previous meal at Hooters, I was skipping anything that resembled a healthy and nutritious dinner. I headed home in the sunset on I-95 and I-4, concluding my day at Biketoberfest. That ought to last me until the Spring.

Are you unwittingly helping thieves at the airport? Some people are, according to the Flying with Fish blog.

Steven Frischling, author of the blog, travels frequently and writes about how to deal with security issues. In the blog post linked above, he points out how professional airport thieves stake out the baggage carousels at major holiday airports (e.g., Orlando) looking for potential targets. The information on your luggage tag could be all they need to know where to break into an empty house.

A while back have I sat in the United Airlines Red Carpet Club at New York's JFK Airport to test my theory and using www.whitepages.com/reverse-lookup. Using the first bag someone placed next to me I searched the phone number on the bags to see what I could find out. What a shock, I immediately knew the home address of the guy next to me, as well as his wife's name. Now I have no intention of breaking into anyone's home, but by casual observation and listening I knew how easily the couple that owned the bags could become the targets of airport thieves. In the span of a few minutes I not only had the first & last names of the couple, but I knew they lived off of 188th Street in Queens, New York, a very nice upscale neighbourhood. I also knew the home would be unattended by listening to their conversation and they'd be out of town at least a day as they boarded United Flight 891 from JFK to Los Angeles' LAX.

Frischling offers some simple and sound advice to protect yourself from theft in the airport, and from revealing information that could lead to a break-in at your home while you're traveling. Check out his blog: Flying with Fish.

The holiday weekend is over, the crackdown is complete, and the statistics are coming out for review. Here's what we've learned from news reports at the Orlando Sentinel and Florida Today:

Statewide, Florida Highway Patrol issued 4,548 speeding citations, 1,928 safety belt-related offenses, and 98 DUIs arrests. In the Central Florida area, FHP issued 312 citations and no warnings. Basically, you got a ticket if they took the time to pull you over.

That pretty much confirms my thoughts that this crackdown had little to do with safety and everything to do with revenue. It's a money-making affair for FHP. Per the Orlando Sentinel's report, OPD said its officer's had discretion whether to give a warning or issue a citation. That's pretty much standard for law enforcement. So why didn't the FHP Troopers give any warnings? There's no profit in warning someone.

If it's a major U.S. holiday, you know that the cops will be out in full force with yet another "crackdown" for those of us who have the day off. The official claim is that they're trying to reduce traffic fatalities.

Bullshit. There are two reasons why cops write a lot of tickets on holidays. It's because the higher-ups recognize that a lot of travel is an excellent opportunity to earn revenue, so they make all the working cops get out there to write tickets. The working cops are pissed at the rest of us for enjoying ourselves while they work. Also, they know that they'll catch a ration of shit if they end the holiday crackdown period without enough tickets. There isn't a specified quota (that would be wrong), but the supervisor will let them know if they don't have enough tickets from such a target-rich opportunity.

While I'll believe that the average cop would rather not work a messy traffic death scene, I'm not swayed that the reason for this crackdown is safety. It's about the money. It's about sticking it to you for any infraction that earns revenue.

So please be aware that you aren't paranoid. They really are out to get you.

Crowd attendance is down at NASCAR races, I presume because it's a luxury cost that many fans can no longer afford. Ad sponsors are pulling out because they have to prioritize their spending when customers aren't buying as much. On top of all that, the Big Three automakers are in deep shit. You don't see a lot of Toyotas or Hondas running in NASCAR. It's all GM, Ford, or Dodge. If they sink, what becomes of NASCAR?

So that begs the question of what happens to Daytona International Speedway. Sure, there are some other races, such as the AMA motorcycle races during Bike Week and the Rolex 24. There are other events inside the Speedway, such as Camping World. However, the NASCAR races are the big draw. If those events take a dive, the impact upon local tourism is going to roll right through the community. Hotels, restaurants and vendors are likely to feel the pain.

NASCAR President Mike Helton is asking fans to support NASCAR advertisers. When has that ever happened before? Basically, he's begging you to help NASCAR keep its advertisers. This isn't for the benefit of the fan's daily life. This is to keep more sponsors from bailing out on a sinking ship.

Personally, I don't give a damn about go-fast, turn left racing. However, it does seem to be something interesting to a large part of the population. I guess when it comes to rent or racing, NASCAR fans aren't quite as dumb as I previously thought. I don't think that NASCAR is going to die, but it does look like it's going to have a major transplant if things keep going this way.

The shuttle is off from the very last night launch. It's cloudy out tonight, but that actually helped the viewing from my back yard. The exhaust flame looked as though it was half a mile long during the main SRB launch. It was just a big, fiery streak across the sky.

When the SRB finally dropped, the shuttle seemed to change to being a bright star that slowly made its way across the sky from the east to the north. The star would get dimmer, and then suddenly brighten up a bit. While the first stage went by shortly, it seemed to take several minutes until the star finally disappeared.

Damn, I'm glad I didn't go over to the coast to watch this thing. Damn traffic is a nightmare and it's hot enough for mosquitos out there. Some of those people started getting their spots at 10:00 am this morning.

That's a lot of attention for a space truck that's delivering a recycling system that allows astronauts to drink their own urine. It's the new Tang.

Have you ever seen this car driving around town? I swear I've seen it on I-4 for a while now and it always makes me wonder. Who the hell would do something like this?

I know, it's a crappy image, but what do you expect? I was driving about 60 mph down I-4 in Downtown Orlando, fumbling around for a Canon SD800 point & shoot camera, it's starting to rain, and I'm trying to avoid hitting other cars around me. Still, I wanted to get a picture of this car.

Seriously, who owns this car and why is it so festively decorated. I mean, Jesus (no pun), there's even stuff on the roof in case a helicopter flies over it.

There are letters on the back, on the side, on the roof, on the hood, the other side. It's one big Jesus-O-Rama car. Apparently, Jesus is real and driving a light-blue sedan around Orlando. Maybe it's the second coming of Christ. Maybe it's just someone who has a poor grasp on reality.

There are a lot of people in the area who have faith. My mom is one of them. She has a tiny little cross hanging from her rear-view mirror. I don't see what good it does her, since she barely drives a thousand miles in a year, but I guess it's good enough to get her to church and back.

This car's owner is just way, way over the top. It's not enough for him (or her) to have a quiet faith like so many others do. This person has to cram it down your throat whether you believe or not. In fact, you're not allowed to disbelieve in the presence of this car. It's the Jesus car. You can tell by the rainbow letters proclaiming that JESUS IS REAL and JESUS LOVES YOU! Great. That's nice. Now stop driving 15 miles per hour slower than the rest of traffic on I-4.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my house and heard some engines racing outside. It happens, 46-A isn't that far away and sometimes you hear a car or motorcycle decide to rev it up on a straight-away. However, this engine sound didn't go away. I sounded like someone was racing around my neighborhood. Once I ventured outside, I found the truth surprised me.

There, in the middle of the road at dusk, was my next-door neighbor racing his small child in go-karts on the street. For the life of me, I was dumb-founded by the incredible stupidity of it. No lights. No helmet or protective clothing. Low to the ground. Racing in poor light. There was a grown man putting his kid at risk just for a little "fun." All it would've taken was for someone to pull out of a driveway or turn a corner. Splat. They may have never even seen the go-kart or had any reason to expect one to be scooting around the road. Fortunately, they called it a night before anything went wrong.

Another young boy wasn't so luck this weekend. William Pfifer crashed an ATV into a house and was in critical condition yesterday. He wasn't riding in the street, nor was he wearing a helmet.

The federal Consumer Product Safety Commission reported that in 2001 97 percent of children under the age of 16 who were hurt by ATVs were on machines larger than recommended.

The top ten contributing factors in an ATV accident are:

1. Inexperience.
2. No helmet.
3. Children riding full-sized ATVs.
4. Carrying passengers.
5. No supervision.
6. Riding on public roads.
7. Use of alcohol.
8. High rate of speed.
9. Doing stunts/showing off.
10. Unseen obstacles.

I'm not necessarily opposed to kids learning how to operate a motor vehicle at a young age, but you just don't turn them loose and hope for the best. It wouldn't hurt to set a good example. How can you expect your child to exercise good judgment if you're racing a go-kart in the street at dusk right there with him? If you want to share some go-kart racing with your child, visit one of the local attractions like Fun World on Hwy 17-92 (part of Flea World).

Effective July 1, 208, anyone under age 16 operating an off-highway vehicle must have in his or her possession a certificate evidencing the satisfactory completion of an approved off-highway vehicle safety course in this state or another jurisdiction. If you don't know where to find training, ask your dealer. The Motorcycle Safety Foundation sponsors Dirt Bike schools for children as young as six years old. While you're registering your child, sign yourself up for a course, too.

Honda has a safety slogan with a bit of truth in it:

I've been stuck at home for the past few days. Back pain. It's not like there's an exciting story behind it. I injured my back in April 2005 while weightlifting because I didn't properly adjust the leg press machine. Now my back just goes out of whack now and then. The most recent example happened on Sunday while leaning over a laundry basket.

Fortunately, my employer allows me to work from home in a situation like this one. I've been stuck inside for a couple of days. Today, I felt marginally better. I also ran out of food, so I decided to try a trip to the grocery store. My back was a bit stiff getting in and out of the car, but otherwise not a problem.

The problem is driving around the idiots who occupy the space around my neighborhood during a work day. I'm normally at my office 25 miles away, so I don't get to experience this particular breed of American Death Squad - mothers driving minivans while talking on a cell phone.

Who decided it was a good idea to give a 3000 pound projectile to a distracted driver? Does this kind of thing happen every work day? I truly felt lucky to get home unscathed.

This is evil. It must be the work of Satan. In fact, I'm sure of it. A minivan is what Satan would drive.

There's nothing cliche about it. Evil doesn't want to advertise itself in a screaming sports car, oversized SUV, or even a motorcycle. No, true evil is among us in seemingly innocent ways. That's why Satan chooses to pretend to be a minivan driving soccer mom with a child (spawn of Satan) strapped in the rear seat.

In the 1.5 mile trip from Publix back to my home, I was nearly smacked by no less than four minivans. Each one contained a Mom driving while talking on a cell phone turned around attending to her Spawn of Satan in the back seat. Each one ignored common safety protocols, like stop signs, traffic lanes, and the need to avoid other vehicles nearby.

I hope I'm well enough to get back to the office tomorrow. It's safer.

If you're going to live in Central Florida, the thunderstorm capital of America, you need to know how to drive in the rain. We had a pretty good soaker today at the usual time, which is whenever I'm driving home from work.

The common wisdom is that you should slow down when it starts raining. The roads are slick, so you need more time to brake and react. Unfortunately, some people take this wisdom to the extreme, thereby committing stupidity. If you're driving too slow for traffic, then traffic bunches up behind you. Instead of increasing reaction time, you've actually decreased the reaction time of the person behind you.

I drove home behind a few of these extremists tonight, and it seems like the slowest ones were in the left lane. Congratulations! That really makes my day. Not only are you driving 35 mph in a 65 mph speed limit zone, but you're also keeping sane folks from passing you.

Driving too fast in a heavy downpour causes different problems. For example, the white pickup I saw speeding along the 408 today managed to cause the rest of us to slow down. That's because he lost traction on a gentle curve. He had a nice hydroplane going as his pickup truck managed to plow into a tall streetlight post and knock it over. At least he didn't knock the pole over onto other traffic, and he didn't seem injured from his unique brand of stupidity. Some poor county worker now has to come out and fix the damage. I doubt the traffic ticket he receives will cover the cost of replacing that streetlight, so expect to take a hit on your tax dollars if you live in Orange county.

Rain. It's just another opportunity to demonstrate the ill effects of extremism.

Labor Day weekend means it's time for cops to make threats to the driving public. After last year's record death toll - 44 people died in crashes across Florida - the cops are making their biggest threat yet. They promise to jail anyone who breaks the law.

Let's think about that. If you get caught driving drunk, you go to jail. Hmmm.

Do we need a holiday weekend for this concept to be policy? Wouldn't you expect cops to always jail a drunk driver? Does this mean that they normally just give the drunk a ticket and send him (or her) back on down the road? I certainly hope that isn't the case.

No, this announcement is yet another way that local and state law enforcement uses to treat citizens like children. As evidence, the Orlando Sentinel gave this quote:

"Don't drink and drive, because we will fill up 33rd Street if you do," said Orange County Sheriff Kevin Beary, referring to the county jail.

This isn't just a local or state effort, though. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration sponsored a nationwide effort, in conjunction with MADD, and an $11 Million advertising campaign. You know the type - commercials with real cops who are deadly awful at delivering their lines.

The only thing that's really missing is a catchy name or slogan for this campaign. How about this one from MADD's site?

DRUNK DRIVING
Over the limit. Under Arrest.

Well, someone thought it was catchy. I think they could do better. The first problem is that there's no rhyme, as with Click it or Ticket. You need those rhymes for the message to sink into the juvenile mind of most drivers. At least, that seems to be the message from our law enforcement community.

How about these slogans?

• Have a drink and we'll send you to the clink.


• Bottoms Up! (in more ways than one)


• Abuse your liver and we send you up the river.


• Get hammered. Get slammered./

I don't mean to belittle the severity of drunk driving. It makes sense that our law enforcement community would raise attention to the problem on holidays when so many people find ways to kill themselves (and others) on the roads. I just wish they could do it without treating us as subjects of a police state. Sometimes, I think their authority goes too much to their heads.

I just got off the phone with SunPass customer service. They confirmed that my account hadn't replenished, but it will the next time I drive through a toll booth. That's nice.

I asked about the -$2.57 account balance showing on the web page. Can you refund that?

"I'm sorry, we're not setup to do that."

You were setup fine to take my money at the toll booth. Can you tell that I went through a toll booth instead of the express toll?

"Yes."

Well?

"I'm sorry, but we can't give a refund without a receipt.

How do I show you the receipt over the phone?

"I'm sorry, we're not setup to do that."

So that's just money lost for me?

"Yes. Can I do help you with anything else?"

Getting around town these days means either fighting traffic on I-4 or spending toll money on the Expressway Authority toll roads. With my commute, I get to deal with both roads. In the morning, I take I-4 down to my gym. After a workout, I continue down I-4 to the 408 towards work. After work, it's 408 to 417 to get back home. It's about a 50 mile round trip.

One of the nice things about the Expressway roads is not having to deal with the deadlocked traffic. Of course, the tolls aren't cheap. My commute cost me a little over $100 in tolls last month. It's getting to be a little more annoying lately, though. My transponder from SunPass isn't getting reloaded lately. When I checked their website, I found this little note:

We are currently experiencing delays in the downloading of toll and replenishment type transactions. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Your account will be updated to reflect any recent transactions as quickly as possible.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Hey, at least they apologize for any inconvenience. So what's inconvenient? The fact that I'm going through the pay booths instead of the transponder lanes. Even though I'm paying in cash (and not getting the discounts associated with the transponder accounts), my transponder is giving me warnings that it has an insufficient balance. Honestly, I didn't think anything about that. At least, not until I checked my account.

My account is -$2.57 now. How is that possible, when all the tolls are in $.25 increments? It seems that I lost $.43 on my transponder when I paid at a $.50 toll. It wasn't enough to pay the toll, but they sucked the money out of my account. Since I paid at the booth, that one cost me $.93. Ok, it's not big money. It's just enough to be annoying.

So why is the SunPass system having a problem replenishing accounts? When will my account get replenished so things can start working normally? One of my tolls is $1.50 on the transponder, but costs $2.00 for cash customers. You'd think someone would be a phone number on the Expressway Authority account page, but it's not there. I may have to use the dreaded phone book.

As if this weren't enough, they want to raise the tolls. I understand that's because we have more roads to build and someone has to pay. Wait, I'm already paying. I don't need another road, unless they want to replace my commute on I-4.

I just picked up this little piece from the Road Wise column in today's Orlando Sentinel. It seems the commuter rail service coming to Orlando in the next three years will have built-in wifi and power outlet connections on all seats.

I wonder how many people will be on the train with port scanners trying to hack into someone's laptop?

For the last 20 years, I've heard stories about commuter rail coming to Orlando. One group wanted it, another one didn't. Everyone wanted the federal government to pay for it. Sometimes the money appeared forthcoming, and then people couldn't meet the deadlines to get the grant. One plan called for the rail to travel between lanes of Interstate 4.

Now, it looks like things will finally happen. The money comes from a mix of federal, state, and local governments...plus a little kick in from private investment. It seems the key to this plan is existing track owned by CSX Transportation. That's the company owning the 61 miles of existing track on which the commuter rail plans to run. The path for the initial track runs from DeBarry, FL to downtown Orlando, potentially operating by 2009. Extensions to Osceola county may take a few more years to happen.